The best (and worst) hotels in Qatar.
FIFA 2022 edition

Planning on visiting Qatar for the FIFA World Cup in 2022? You should probably book your hotel accommodation early.

Over 1 million people are expected to visit the tiny Gulf state for the event. That’s going to put considerable strain on local resources (the total population is just 2 million).

But how do you choose the right hotel in the right location? Read on…

The 5 star hotel options

The only acceptable accommodation in Qatar is a five star hotel. And even then, the amenities and service may not be what you’re used to. Here’s a quick tip — make sure your hotel serves alcohol. Some of them don’t — and getting arrested for smuggling booze into your hotel suite is going to put a damper on your trip.

The international brands are your best bets, and I’d recommend choosing one from the list below.

The Ritz Carlton — Very nice hotel staffed almost entirely by women from the Balkans who are forever bombed out of their mind on Xanax and barely able to function. But aside from that it’s fine with a great fitness centre and a plush hotel bar. Link.

The W — If you want to smuggle Russian hookers back to your room the W is your best bet. The hotel lobby feels like nightclub and the actual nightclub feels like a bad Flo-Rida video clip. This is where you come to ‘pop bottles’ at your private table and knock back tequila shots with airline stewardesses and professional athletes. Which means no one is going to notice you discretely heading for the lifts with a 20 year old in a barely there dress. Link.

Kempinski — There’s a nice bar downstairs in the lobby. They serve cocktails in fishbowls. Also, they have a little shop that sells overpriced breads and things. So I’m going to give the Kempinski a thumbs-up. Link.

4 Seasons — If you’re looking for a place you can smoke cigars in the lobby and drink scotch while talking about your latest corporate acquisition this is the spot. It’s very ‘old school’ with leather armchairs, oil paintings, and heavy drapes — a look that extends to the hotel rooms. But if that gets boring you can head down to the private beach parties on the weekends and drink away the pain. Link.

The Sheraton — Renovated in recent years, the Sheraton has removed all the dank, and closed down the infamous Waterhole nightclub. It’s the first five star hotel built in Qatar and has a great retro-futuristic architectural vibe straight out of the 1970s. There’s also a private beach, which is always a bonus. Link.

Intercontinental — The Intercontinental used to be the ‘party hotel’ back in the day. It’s since been surpassed by a bunch of better hotels. So it’s like one of those second tier casinos in Vegas where you’ll find people who have been kicked out of all the nice places. Link.

La Cigale — Le Cigale is where you hang out if you’re Lebanese and like to have 2 packs of Marlboro lights and several mobile phones in your hands at all times. There’s a great rooftop bar, a nightclub that feels like you’re in Beirut, and the actual rooms are reasonable. I should mention that it’s located in Al Sadd, which is probably more industrial and distant than you’re looking for. Link.

St Regis — Very fancy. They’ll even throw in a butler for you if that’s your vibe. If you’re into heavy irony you can watch a live reggae band perform at the beach bar every weekend while middle-aged Brits from the oil industry pass out drunk. Link.

Hilton Doha — It’s fine. The best thing about the Hilton is the Polynesian restaurant (Trader Vic’s) that sits alongside the hotel’s crescent shaped pier and beach. Aside from that it’s a modern if generic kinda place. Link.

The Grand Hyatt — It’s a bit out of the way, but the Hyatt is large, comfortable and modern. There’s a cavernous lobby, a great in-house restaurants that does Asian fusion food, and it’s opposite Laguna, one of the more up-market boutique malls. Link.

The Sharq — A spa resort and hotel, the Sharq features low-level terraces rather than the high-rise buildings you associate with hotels. It’s located right next to the airports so how much you’ll enjoy your stay depends on how you feel about planes flying low over your head on a regular basis. Link.

Marriot (City Centre) — Located in the heart of downtown Doha, the Marriot is attached to the City Centre shopping mall and close to pretty much everything. But it’s definitely on the lower tier of ‘5 star’ hotels. Link.

Banana Island Resort — A new addition, Banana Island is a private, man-made island just off the coast. Probably not the spot if you want to roam the streets screaming “lager lager, lager,” but if you’re looking for something a bit more discrete and private it looks lovely. Link.

Marsa Malaz Kempinski, The Pearl — It’s a little slice of Dubai extravagance right here in Qatar. If you’re looking for over the top embellishments and Instagram photo opportunities this is the spot. Link.

You can read more about Doha’s hotel, nightclubs and bars in the book — God Willing: How to survive expat life in Qatar.

4 star hotel options:

If the 5 star hotels in Qatar offer world-class service and facilities, the 4 star options provide a more authentic, middle-eastern experience. In other words there’s lots of faded décor, majlis lounges, and Pakistani salesmen getting drunk at the bar.

Since these hotels can’t compete with the international brands on any conventional measure, they tend to offer their own unique selling points. This usually involves some combination of booze and prostitutes.

There’s a notorious 4 star hotel where you’ll find local men in their thobes knocking back Heinekens at the bar. Technically, this is illegal, since Muslims aren’t allowed to consume alcohol in Qatar. And they’re definitely not supposed to do it while wearing their national outfit.

Meanwhile, there’s another 4 star place across town where the nightclub is a strange mix of flamboyantly gay Indian men, Filipino hookers, and confused westerners. It’s a lot of fun, actually, and the crowd are super friendly.

The point being, you’re never sure what you’re going to get with a 4 star hotel. There are a number of boutique places that have sprung up in recent years and offer great value for money — try K108. But there’s also a weird underbelly of hookers, booze, homosexuals, and Egyptians at some of the less savoury places.

And I’m not judging. A potent mix of booze, hookers and drunken Arabs will probably lend your FIFA World Cup stay a certain eastern mysticism. But if this is your first overseas rodeo, and you’re looking for a more restful and reassured stay in Qatar, you might want to give the 4 star hotels a miss.

3 Star Hotel and below

Not even an option. Seriously though, anything 3 stars and below in Qatar and you may as well be squatting in the third world. Your fellow guest will be a strange and terrifying mix of shady business dudes, Taliban operatives, drug smugglers, third tier prostitutes, and meowing cats.

AirB&B

There’s a story going around that the Qatari Government, aware of local sensitivities to the World Cup and alcohol sales, is offering residents paid overseas holidays for the duration of the event.

The Qataris are notoriously private; so don’t expect to see their properties on AirBNB. But some other folks may head home to Egypt or Lebanon to take advantage of the massively inflated prices that they can charge for accommodation during the cup.

While you never know what you’re going to get with AirBNB, you can almost certainly expect 1. A deeply ingrained cigarette smoke odour, 2. Ugly furniture with tassels.

If you’re brave enough to go down the AirBNB route, The Pearl and West Bay are the only acceptable locations. Anything else and you’re going to find yourself surrounded by stray cats, construction work, and a chronic lack of facilities.

You can find more tips on living and working in Qatar in my book — God Willing: How to survive expat life in Qatar.